Kid: “That broken game?”
Me: “Wait, it’s broken?”
Kid: “Well, Let’s Game It Out Josh broke it.”
Me: “Well, that’s ANY game!”
Tag: J Quotes
Kid playing Minecraft with his friends: “I just broke an anvil naming a cake…”
Kid playing Minecraft with his friends: “I just broke an anvil naming a cake.
I named it ‘Lie.’”
On Wandering.shop
Kid keeps talking about “btools” on Roblox and I keep hearing it as “bee tools” …
Kid keeps talking about “btools” on Roblox and I keep hearing it as “bee tools” and interpreting that as the “cow tools” from The Far Side.
Food/FFS
Takeout containers labeled FF for French Fries. Kid jokes: “Oh, there are lots of 255s!”
To be more precise, they’re actually labeled FFS, which of course is another thing entirely
“Is that a *bowl of frosting?*” “I didn’t fill it all the way!”
Me: Want some breakfast? Kid: …
Me: Want some breakfast?
Kid: …
Me: (makes coffee, waits for it to brew, puts some food together, sits down, takes one bite and starts to read)
Kid: Can you get me some breakfast?
9YO: I hate 500 errors. Especially on pages with 500 ads.
9YO: I hate 500 errors. Especially on pages with 500 ads.
Covid19/pokemon, silly
9YO (looking at Rocket Radar in Pokemon Go): OK, Team Rocket is still scared of Covid.
9YO: I don’t know what to do. Me: It’s time to go to school, so…
9YO: I don’t know what to do.
Me: It’s time to go to school, so that’s easy.
9YO: Not that.
9YO joking about Ender Dragon Chow
9YO joking about Ender Dragon Chow:
“Made from their favorite food!
“Not players.
“Their second-favorite food.”
#minecraft
Apparently the Ender Dragon’s second favorite food (after players) is apples.
Me: Your toothpaste has been *waiting* for you to brush your teeth with it!9YO: …
Me: Your toothpaste has been *waiting* for you to brush your teeth with it!
9YO: It can’t wait. Toothpaste waits for nothing.
Look, a 100-pack of CDRs!
9YO: Look, a 100-pack of CDRs!
Me: Yeah, we bought one of those 15 years ago and still have some.
Me: Wait, does that actually have a *manual*? 8YO: No, it’s just the Terms of Service.
Me: Wait, does that actually have a *manual*?
8YO: No, it’s just the Terms of Service.
J: “My mom’s porgs are the tastiest porgs in the whole world….probably.”
J: “My mom’s porgs are the tastiest porgs in the whole world….probably.”
“This is like Olaf, but an evolved Olaf!”
J is unpacking Christmas ornaments & finds one of Frosty the Snowman: “This is like Olaf, but an evolved Olaf!”
Kiddo just walked groggily out of his room, set his alarm clock & water bottle…
Kiddo just walked groggily out of his room, set his alarm clock & water bottle on the table, grumbled, “What was up?” went back to his room, then came back out, grabbed his water and alarm clock, and walked back into his room. ???
J, in a rocket engine simulator: “Oooh, this is beautiful! I can’t see anything!”
J, in a rocket engine simulator: “Oooh, this is beautiful! I can't see anything!”
It’s your phone
(Katie’s phone chimes)
Katie: I don’t *want* to know what that is.
J: It’s your phone.
J: “Po-ta-toes. But not real toes.”
J: “Po-ta-toes. But not real toes.”
First thing J said to me as I woke him up this morning: “Why was
First thing J said to me as I woke him up this morning: “Why was that guy covered in pizza dough?” The kid has interesting dreams.